Now you see me.'s Journal

5:00pm: ...

7:58pm: I can't breathe.
It's so crowded down here, ugh. These stupid new girls are touching all my stuff, why don't you all just TAKE it?!

I need to get away from here but every time I head for the door Kennedy the Elder calls me back to "help".

I refuse to cry anymore, it doesn't help me any just makes me feel weaker than I am. I can't stand this, I can't...

You know what? screw this. I'm going to go hang up stairs for awhile.


Ta ta for now.

2:04pm: I'm surprised I can even update this without little miss control freak on my back. *squrim*

Not again!! Agh, you'd think with 15 other chicks running around she wouldn't notice every time I slip off for a bit?

3:54am: Wtf...
Is that Spike? Something about Buffy coming back, I didn't know vampires talked in their sleep.

I'm so tired...

2:23am: Blah.
Kennedy's been giving me looks all day, I suppose she read my comment on not reading those stupid books. Oh, well.

Looks like there will be no sleep having for me tonight either, and this time I'm really tired. I was up all day helping them set up for the ten girls that are supposed to show up tomorrow. I tried doing the laying down thing and closing my eyes, but to no avail it's like some force is blocking me to actually drift off. I think it's this house, they say the hellmouth is under the school but maybe it's bigger and it reaches here too...but how come everyone else is sound asleep?

I used to write in my own private journal but I lost it on the way here...and I could lock these posts but the internet just seems so iffy. The only thing I have of mine that's personal is this stupid juvenile book. *sigh* There's thirteen people in this house, ten more tomorrow. The only difference there'll be is the line for the bathroom and the actualy capacity of this house. Nothing else.

I'll try that sleeping thing again.

5:54am: Nothing.
No matter what I do I can't get to sleep. I've been lying there for a good six hours, well okay maybe I got up a couple of times to get a snack and watch some Nick At Night but now it's just getting annoying. The sun's all up and shining in my face and I just can't fall asleep.

I'm scared, surprise surprise, right? I know at this point everyone must be scared but I think under that they all have a plan brewing in their heads and they have hope.

I'm just tired. In every possible way, tired of pretending that I care when all I care about is wishing that this never happened. I'm tired of closing my eyes and having nothing happen. Sleep is the only good thing I have right now, it carries me off from here. I get comfortable too and then nothing, I'm just lying there.

I'd like to put a "Why" out there but I know the answer won't save us.

If there is an answer.

10:03am: Thanks again, Cole
Another thank you to Willow for helping me figure this thing out.

Everyone is sleeping now so I'm in the kitchen updating this, the lap top keeps making noises everytime I minimize and maximize the browser. And a bunch of strangers are IMing me and it keeps ringing, I don't know how to lower it so I'm here hoping no one hears it.

I had some cereal, dry. There wasn't any milk and I would have gone out and bought some but Giles is strict about any of us leaving the house for anything thanks to certain people. You know what? I'm still hungry and ceral without milk is...um..just wrong. So I'm going. I'm going to get milk so God help me.

6:00pm: Uh..
I don't know much about Angelus but word on the street is he's loose and almost as evil as him.

This is like one big domino effect.

Anyone else who thinks we don't have a chance in hell, say aye.

1:01pm: Yeah, real funny.
Okay, who keeps putting this as the computer's home page?! It's getting really annoying.

I'm computer illiterate, someone take it off.

3:50pm: Fun.
So is this why all of you are fighting over Willow's lap top all the time?

I can see it's appeal but I would have never made one if Kennedy didn't bug me about it. She said something along the lines of "connecting" with everyone through this too since I'm so quiet.

Well, here I am.